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I hope you enjoyed these five related poems of a growing monster in him, until she left him and couldn’t write about him anymore. Go back and read them again and again.
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FIVE

darktale five

FIVE

Could have been as simple as her finding
Life, that killed him and his hold
If ever it were a hold other than
Discovering of healing until healed despite
Her mind now chattered with healthy thoughts
Where he could not dwell, nor could return
Because when he only hoarded such
She gave love until none was to give
And gave to herself until she saw
Around her a respect he never offered

∞ ∞ ∞

Perhaps the heart-chained-dragon within him
Went underground to hold all his keys
Counting like treasure another false “in-love”
He could not touch anyone with such locks
If his scales under volcanic glow moved
Would they hold the pieces of his soul
That he would tear each time he lied
To possess the possessiveless girls
Holding the strings he tried to bound
And only his claws are twisted now

∞ ∞ ∞

As his tears had only glowed with crocodile light
She had seen his “show of improvement”
Were only bait and as too many bites had
Called her compassion, she turned her
Compassion to her own wishes of health
Because of songs only left haunting
In agreement of “I thought you were special”
She sang with a smile her knowing
She would not ever meet him or come to
As she marked the country-side with her heart

∞ ∞ ∞

He stewed again in such thoughts to touch her
If only there was a way for his venom to
Reach the soft coats she wore of love
Yet, again he could not come near her
Even thoughts or curses or poxes
His bite remained upon his own flesh
As he would drown another death
He still would not climb from darkness
Dwelling in his irrational anger of vengeance
Because she would never be a slave

∞ ∞ ∞

If locked inside was a pain protected beat
And all he wished was to breathe
Perhaps he could accept his defeat
To rest under wisdom of possible
Friends he thought he had, could care
To drag him into the world again
If he would only not return to
The window of her words that stirred
Because he wanted her story voice
And as long as she lived she gave words

∞ ∞ ∞

Her words were for all and always hers
No one could own but a book of
And he turned to grab them into his head
Desperate for her voice to be inside
If he could imagine enough perhaps
But no messages would be sent
Her mind held the fields she wrote
And a gentle man that considered her
Equal to any genius he could spin
And meeting him instead was her calling

∞ ∞ ∞

He only could hear the screams of his own
Stabbings returned to him like invitation
For their mark would not meet her
Only figments of who he thought she was
But he grabbed only illusions as
His delusions thought he was better than
To ever give love or validation toward her worth
He would torture her to ask for feelings
Once, now no requests come to him
And he is left with all the unsent blood

∞ ∞ ∞

His masterings bleeding because he could not
Feed them, as his audience began to
Glimpse of the snakes trapped behind his
Eyes claiming character of little boy
Hurt too many times and maybe he was
But snakes trapped are dangerous
As he has them guard his forward
With the strings of any worth
He locks them behind his blinks
As he flashes his forced mood into smile

∞ ∞ ∞

And camera captures his pretending
Instead of being, because he's led by
Snake drawn carriages of his heart pieces
Keeping them from touching into a whole
Tangling with his spirit that had disagreed
With the choices he'd make to heal
As his pain rose, he could only numb
Because that was where he could hide him
As self inflicted trauma reminded him
That he was blossoming into his father

∞ ∞ ∞

Would he be able to keep the predator
Away from himself after attempting
Master over a compassionate soul
As her lack of chains remained, has he
Left himself open for feeding upon
Because he is stuck in the spiral of
Master-slave link he puts himself in
Perhaps the acceptance he has no choice in
Will show him what having freely
Couldn't, as he questions what freedom is

∞ ∞ ∞

His eyes change form the sparkle he
Worked so hard to fake with amusement
Instead of the joy of fulfillment there
Into the clouds that took his sight once
As his eyes reverted to the horror
He pushed against will to birth
Coiled to the children he deformed
Holding nothing but their shells
He moves his tail from around them
As dust films the stagnant water he sits

∞ ∞ ∞

Alone was the promise he made himself
And when finding her, he regretted such
He sabotaged to keep his vow instead
Of the choice of life and living it
She was hurt once by him to insanity
Lines she walked to understand herself
Then she chose to not hurt anymore
She chose healthy and healthy relationships
Which he kept his word to not give
And she left him just like he planned

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FOUR

darktale four

FOUR

She wondered of that bite of
“He's not here yet” and “Where is my real”
Life along this place she made a new
Nest full of creative potential whether
He arrived out of the drizzle the clouds
Left, or would he arrive in a once
Every thousand year flood kind of rain
If that is his climb, what year is it
Is it year one and have to wait a thousand
Or is it the place she should not stand in the river

∞ ∞ ∞

So, for this time without words spoken
She cuddled where there was only room
For such, unless she walked the miles
To feel the whole world hers nightly
He watched in his mind where she was
And followed with the psyche of a
Hopeful monster, for light, but no one
Inside where he had falsely invited
Her again to the
telepathy games
She would no longer play with madness

∞ ∞ ∞

He wished his hands and voice would
Obey such technology as just a pen
To send real words to touch her there
He wanted what was dealt then, once
But she wanted more, to be human
And he sat with just his spirit hungry
Of flesh he would not send, nor would
He receive, for every block he built
Gave up inside her as she thought
She was only wandering, but found herself

∞ ∞ ∞

Could she remember the progress
Of yesterdays as she wrote of this
Years of waiting she no longer played
Could she hold the list he gave that
He read the words she gave him, yet
He didn't come any closer than he
Ever did and she settled into knowing
May never because, it is the same again
Yet his fear was lighter as she
Paused to look at the
less heavy of it

∞ ∞ ∞

If she dreamed of him, would he be
The arms in the movie that scared her
With its suddenness out of the darkness
Where she thought she saw him drown
On screen, alone, as third act
Such dreaming keeps him breathing
Even under the swamps that grab
From the mile of mud on the bottom
To hold him under his paralyzed
Forward he thought he could promise

∞ ∞ ∞

Did he want to instead, falsely claim
He could handle real inheritance
He could start upon her loins
Was it really a joke to wish for a son
When he could be with either, playing
Dolls along the pieces he threw away
Dress up with his tea always in need
Of filling to spill his secrets to them
Would they be
healed patches then or
Would they be the
knives he was given

∞ ∞ ∞

To cut a future inside of his children
Could be the wish that would leave
Him over there, despite unfulfilled
Because her spirit's aroma held
A family waiting for him to sleep near
In promised paths and woods
To fish and sleep where he was safe
Feeling the feeling he thought only
Alone could feel this safe, once
So, alone he chose instead, despite

∞ ∞ ∞

The wind bringing her touch upon him
Because he would not let go in
Spirit as he tangled with her open truth
That she changed to not be hurt by
Him, and yet, she changed for him to ease
For that was where the pain lessened
To allow him inside her soul even
When he would never walk with her hand
Even when he would not message her
And she could hear her own stories instead

∞ ∞ ∞

Another year and then May would come
As lilacs and heat promised green
Along the list of checks and cross marks
He still had paper spent and not her held
Could it have been long enough to heal
What made him be the
Never she held
Would he bring her to airport doors
Because he would meet her in writing
As her work moved and stacked again
To hold his work-to-be inside of for a
Forever

∞ ∞ ∞

The sadness of promised souls, lingered
In the air of the desk filled room
He sat with the printouts of her actions
In verse she sang to him, unending
And the rhythm kept him healing
As he faced the monster he was without
Light, to find the light she mentions
He watched the land he owned alone
Out window without her there, without anyone
And the animals wandered across

∞ ∞ ∞

Would totems speak like her
If he would not read nor view
As silence of owl, unseen, glided
He knew his wisdom was the same
Wanting to call a coo for his mate, yet winds
Lead him so close, with his silent feathers, unseeable
Unheard as he circled her again
In soul, he dreamed to read more
Of her heart he heard beating behind his closed eyes
In healing, he laid head in his own arms

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THREE

darktale three

THREE

His sadness met another day of him
Because celebration of his birth haunted
What tales he'd sewn from his father
Onto her wishes of him well
He screamed of a sadness he hid
And instead revealed himself her monster
As she turned from him and away from his
Needs of her to give him her love
Of her to feed his sickness of sadness
Because he never had such well wishes

∞ ∞ ∞

Was the universe really a New Year's Day
Because he was born once on such a day
To be with her despite being wounded
Yet his wounds spoke of frozen moments
Unwilling to move out of his day belonging
To someone else instead of only his
So he became a mess more upon his puddle
Would he reclaim this day as his own
Only to be shared but never expected
Perhaps to climb a mountain and sleep

∞ ∞ ∞

Sometimes along a tent, the stars watched
As the lone man laid under them to
Stare back into the past of their light
Drifting in the thoughts of being near her
Despite the place he dwelled by himself
He felt her near him as he could glimpse
Where she left a trail of where her energy
Could be found if he were not to be
A monster that stayed away by will
What even he wanted the most as true

∞ ∞ ∞

Despite no witnesses to their love
Her words would sing in his dark
Making even his torments sing in return
Could
held at bay ever free him
As his answers leave him where he froze
He could mimic movement for awhile
But in that dark he was found sitting
Still enough to hear the stars he missed
To listen for her songs again
The ones he would not answer the calls

∞ ∞ ∞

He watched her relief of her own torment
Wondering of the abilities she birthed
On the week he looked for his own Birthday
Into a multi-spontaneous oblivion
To be just once for him, one of those days
Even if he had to hold a doll to be
The child kept away from his own
Developing paternal heart, to love himself
Because who would do that for him
If he could not hold his baby to be

∞ ∞ ∞

A motel in the middle of a nowhere highway
With a bubble bath half filled with wine
And a damp sketchbook with bleeding lines
He decided he was the one he was to become
To love himself in the middle of nowhere
And maybe go out on a hiking tour with strangers
After a night of antique horror movies
Because, how else would he date himself
On a day he was the most important
As she whispered his name in his mind

∞ ∞ ∞

She told him he was an artist and
An artist would wander, would he
She needed his wandering to find himself
Would he mend his cracks as he witnessed
Viewpoints he put himself in, to see
Life calling who he is when moving
Would he tell her he's going, and return
Would he write his chaos even then
Even if it came out in drawings, would he
Be the man that called his flow

∞ ∞ ∞

If he bought himself a present at an exit
Convenient store toy isle, would he find happiness
In bobble-headed starlets of
tourist-trap land
Maybe he'd get lipstick to kiss his mirror
With his own lips looking across the room
Of the motel-strip along a desert
In a town so small it was half gravel
Maybe he could skate under the moon
In that motel parking lot to roam his thoughts
Of her sending him out to say Happy Birthday

∞ ∞ ∞

Would his father camp on his doorstep
Wondering where he went when he
Explicitly demanded such birthdays to be
All about how important he, his father, was than him
As he was off ignoring such threats
Because a tent in his car had called
The night upon him and away from
Monsters he grew up with, haunting
The quiet air was hollow with nature
Just for him to sleep with

∞ ∞ ∞

His father or even his mother could wait
Or not even bother this called
Because just a week out from everyone
Had to be for his awakening into
Health in his emotions he grew for her
He wanted because he wanted how she
Saw his healing could be if he let it
With every allowance to evolve on
Just one night out of reach from all
Into the place where snakes were tracks

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TWO

darktale two

TWO

She only felt the barren
As his arms held only
Children that had never been
Birthed into a creation to share
Did they wander off as too many
Came to be held, he could not hold
One in his arms to cling to him as
The beginning still did not begin
So, she turned in her sleep to
No longer dream of holding his toys

∞ ∞ ∞

Along an improved thought he guarded
He decided to let her know he thought
Of her on the conversations she gave
With intelligent men and women to retain
Her thoughts a bit to cook and become
Story on the inside, painted there to
Remain despite story on the outside
Would he let her know he held the door
She didn't know behind her still
To open upon her silhouette of told

∞ ∞ ∞

Her room empty as the bed full of
Papers of her meditations, as he waited
To hear her fondness of him again
Turning in the shadow for blanket
Upon a fireplace made by his hands
To hide his passion in the secret bricks
Too far for her to ever find
And quilted darkness piled higher
For sleeping under weight would deepen him
Though darkness weighed nothing but consumed

∞ ∞ ∞

Perhaps a camera upon her camera of
Talk about leftover hate to possess
Yet crawling along on the backs of caterpillars
Shortens his stature to her faraway presence
In too many meetings not her own, and becoming
Taller than where he was viewing her
She observed strangers in their whispers
While the whispered of watched her there
Yet, she was still writing alone on her bed
As he peeked in the obscured view of her thoughts

∞ ∞ ∞

If she remembered trauma in an ego dismiss
Shall he remain fenced as he wandered
Because egoist neglected her forward
She moved giant leaps instead of lost
Would he be one to trigger as such
For he could not even approach boxes
Of delivery he promised with his mark
Would roses line her steps of his wishes
Or thorns like the claws of his silence
Tear at the heart bound to remember his love

∞ ∞ ∞

As she stayed too late into the burning of new
Her madness of exhaustion stretched her possibilities
As he thought she could wait for one more
Because such chances grew like trees
Upon the forest of betrayed for not arriving
The landscape filled with the death
And their branches touched along the horizon
Only suns could set behind this
Scarring the sky with screams of nevermore
He called hollow to her wind for her

∞ ∞ ∞

Falling in crumbles where the roots rot
Under river licking the slime to make soil
He vowed to walk such graves
To mark his trail back to her
Yet, he spiraled down as it curved
For his calls were only his echoes
With no other goal but to run from
The only thing he wanted to run toward
Her spirit loved him anyway
The kind forever sat under her eyes

∞ ∞ ∞

Sleep was full of silence and clocks
As the freeway called like waves
She remembered the tingle of a spirit
That no longer visited her body bruised
She turned again as his image faded from
The dream of traveling in movies walked
More into the journal of opinions she
Thought he would like once upon a time
She dreamed of the gateway whether
He would cross with her or not and she moved

∞ ∞ ∞

Was the last line with his voice inside
She wondered as she stripped her night off
Was his growls upon the door again
For his entrance had never been
Would he remember unwrapped inside
Enough to call his bloom's loss
To create a sky of his eyes, yet
His body remained in a lock he lost keys
His spirit lost with her in his heart
Cracked pieces pinned to her stars

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