Apr 2016

Spotlight Lost-n-Found

Spotlight lost-n-found

Spotlight Lost-n-Found

Straight through away from the nothing
From stagnation, no movement, no love
Into me and my walking into my next
As chapter has been folded, chapter is
Captured in, and in my hands and inside
Closing the intricacies that dust marked
Until the nothing of such path called forth
The direction with my solid heart upon
Landscape just a bit easier to touch
As goodbye felt better than staying
And heartache to heal, felt better than
Him, I shall not speak of, or for, in here
As the gone is gone and my begun
Has held me when I cried less for
Not minding my lone-cat status
Because I am wild shapeshifter
Of all cats to see, or see disappear
In the shadows of my own way
Marked by none other to see me here
I've glimpsed my like species beyond
My own daughter I've also freed
And saddened by the incompatibility
Of no love given back, yet healed
To know now I've chosen and
No longer burdened by the fate
Of abandoned Alien on this Earth
If another finds me, no matter, for
I live as if I meant to live like this
And hold my daughter close on sunsets

Maybe I'm a whole new book, no mind
Chapters gone and no more turns
As I repair my own leaks and filters
Speaking only to teachers of my heart
To grow a glowing ability to stand
Without the trauma taking my breath
When reminded of my own desires
For audience, movies, and story inventions
Despite my fear of the new I press
On to this stage I dressed in rags for
Because I was tired too long in the
Making of tales to shower my losses
And I'll take the light upon my
Dirty skin layers as bright as a spot
If hearts and ears can heal/hear with me there
I will dress up after my coma is
Cracked into the birth of my screams
Because wings are of pages in print now
Poems on pages to be dedicated once
Maybe I'll still say, Thank You Matthew
There in the front where it once belonged
And maybe the place that 'gift' was for
Will be blank and assumed no more
Who do I write for now, in my love
Because I'm the only one standing after
Dust of the pages that were burned
Because the rhythm was the wind
In the sandy prairie where hills were made
On the songs of before a human's voice

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Reveal to Me, Me. As I You.

reveal to me, me

Reveal to Me, Me. As I You.

A world of who I am has been proven
Out of touch with such pains I've funneled
Yet, they want one to take such blames
As, believe them over any child's history
And I shall not, even when they are all yelling
I've looked at the proof with calm in the storm
As I've been able to do for my heart-ed
Witness of dreams to compare with my steps
Even among such chaos dear to me
I've thought of him once too often
Because I wonder can he truly heal
As I hold on to every single healthy boundary
Because I walk my own path unencumbered
By manipulation of the desperate betrayer
For he wishes to prove himself intelligent
Based on such nonsense that only proves unwise
As low integrity-ed actions have had me
Turned away once more as I ponder
The same half healed plight I've seen
Can he wear integrity and gain such insight
Without those paths that broke me and still
Give him the chances to choose kindness
As much as everyone wants to turn away
From the asshole he can be, they want his hugs
So what does that define as sensitive man
Grew out of sensitive child pushed upon
By demon-guided-father that he loved
For I too am sensitive woman who
Did not choose any vile for a cape

Could he be the mother I am looking for
Inside and in a relationship of dust
As I wear the hat of Father to hold him
Could he remember not to be the one I left
Either in Man or Mother, I will not repeat
How much abuse he has given or taken
And different inks mark the newer poems
From a book full of two-paged thoughts of him
Will passages form their own doorways
As my layers have defined new peelings
Of another set of wings I hover in
Deciding which way I will turn again
He fumbles amends toward my needs
His actions may have been personal and heavy
But what I need to lighten such, is what I need
And not personal to him but a request
To repair his deed with what I require
Because it is empathy he's learned to
Master me, to touch me ever again
And how I've touched him once so deep
Making up is never just a line through
Such actions of words written on paper
But a dance back into a heart guarded
Rightfully bound as it may have to be
It wants to be freed to love him
Shall he recognize more than his own
Reflections to admire into a photograph
Or experiences, twisted into a joke
But ME, a woman, that could have been his

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His

His

His

When I asked what he thinks of when
I write him on my pages and when I don't
And he sends me healing as a response
To what his mind leans toward me
Does he witness my encounters in there
Or is he just a friend who loves Horror
And Director enough to bring him to me
With my stacks of Horror for him to play with
Would such a warm heart find me with his
Buried under persona of warped perception
Has he found his own Professional to dump
All the demons his father gave him as tradition
Into the waiting maw of Guardian Snakes
And other forms of a god would seed
Into the pox-eaters of those of our ancestors'
Desires to hold the darkness over our
Light to find light and the likeness
Like my clearing of my mother's poisons
Has found my beckon calling him
As my brain is possessed and owned
By me and the spirits of my Queendom
I know he has been sitting over there
Hearing me say his name upon my blankets
As he listened to his own spirits of his
Kingdom calling his courage my way
He sleeps under the trees thinking of
Ways to put my name upon his coverings
To sleep as sound as the forest he
Brought nothing but his body and back to

So he seems to care with his often thoughts
Moving in circles around me again
I'll listen to the analog clock tick
As comfort of my Grandmother is there
And her birds caught in her house
Saving tea leaves in the cups to whisper
And soft hugs from long ago
Would he only be like memories of fondness
Or could he come out of dusty prairie clouds
Into this land just out of mountain peaks
View along the horizon of stars and planes
Walking like he would always arrive
As if my sky is a waiting do or awaiting to
Between us like we often have dreamed
That there was no land dividing us
With silent pictures presented on screens
Of my portraits watching his as
He intensed his view of his view
I'll settle along my idle time of
Another fantasy full of characters he plays
To invent all the children he’ll hold
Gathering with his spirit tail to
Raise them inside his own rooms
Inside his heart and across his pelvis
As again he finds my thoughts rising
His erection for me, too far away
Spent in places I've not touched aside
My mind full of another kiss from him
Into my sleep it trails the tracks back to

Comments

Will We Meet Our Breath

Will We Meet Our Breath

Will We Meet Our Breath

If I cut a song in the middle of it
Would you be flooded with connections
Or wander off to remember all the times
You caught a cat sleeping and curling
Cute as furry faces and embraces
The lyrics would go up again into
A demand to push play and continue
The song demanded to end its phrase
There in the center of such chaos
Perhaps I could remember to remember
A story I made up about you and yours
Of a woman's lips, close to yours
And games that met you equal to
Find a mind like mine or yours
And another close encounter in rain
Shall you keep me warm from the cold shower
Will your arms hold me there, even not yours
Yet the vibration of held heart beats
Say I am, I am, I am, and closer
To the hail outside with ride in distance
Through the storm in reach, demanding a run
Would you hold my hand for a ride
Would you take these chills away
Can you become the mind I ponder
Of all the ingenious I give you credit for
Of my inventions, to call you
Will you be held in wet park
As under wet statue sheltered
A could be, a would be, shaken kiss

If she were me, hovering over game board
Could my thoughts hold you even there
As one more game is won, leaving half
Because even minds were swallowed
Into plot and intrigue of stars
Because movement brought us into
The stars that again rotate around us
To the stripes left from delayed time
Photography of our sky watching us
Still in that darkening park game
As the clouds rolled into cover
And thunder announced its waiting
Was over, despite the plans and plots
Was rumbling the light flashes
Of witnesses from gods or more
For maybe an arm around me when
Scattered under waiting embrace
Because shelter would bring me
Into your future thoughts of moves
Of where would we ride from here
Again the sky screamed a deep rumble
And my arm warmed under your hands
Because of the home we couldn't find
We paused under stone stares
Into another warm beat skipping
As my breath catches yours and
Stares into your eyes with
Constant glimpses of promised lips
Would you ever come over to mine

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